Enero de 2008

Lo que ha cambiado el tema en 30 años

COLOCADO POR: Ferdy
FECHA: 15 Jan 2008

Escenario: Manolo tiene pensado ir al bosque después de clase.  Según entra al colegio le enseña una navaja a Pancho con la que pretende hacer un tirachinas.
Año 1977: El subdirector lo ve y le pregunta donde las venden, y le enseña la suya, que es antigua, pero mas buena.
Año 2007: La escuela se cierra, llaman a la guardia civil y llevan a Manolo al reformatorio.  Antena 3 y Telecinco presentan los informativos de las 15:00 desde la puerta del colegio.

Escenario: Fran y Marcos se reparten unos puñetazos después de clase.
Año 1977: Los compañeros los animan, Marcos gana.  Se dan las manos y terminan siendo colegas en los billares.
Año 2007: La escuela se cierra, Telecinco proclama el mes antiviolencia escolar, el periódico 20 Minutos titula a cinco columnas el asunto y Antena 3 aposta de nuevo a Matías Prats en pleno temporal frente a la puerta del colegio para presentar el telediario.

Escenario: Jaime no para quieto en clase.  Interrumpe y molesta a los compañeros.
Año 1977: Mandan a Jaime a ver al director y éste le echa una buena bronca.  Vuelve a clase, se sienta en silencio y no vuelve a interrumpir más.
Año 2007: Se le administran a Jaime grandes dosis de Ritalin.  Se transforma en un Zombi.  La escuela recibe una subvención por tener un discapacitado.

Escenario: Luis rompe el cristal de un coche en el barrio; su padre saca el cinturón y le pega unos buenos latigazos con él.
Año 1977: Luis tiene más cuidado la próxima vez, crece normalmente, va a la universidad y se convierte en un hombre negocios con éxito.
Año 2007: Arrestan al padre de Luis por maltrato a menores.  Sin la figura paterna, Luis se une a una banda.  Los psicólogos convencen a su hermana de que el padre abusaba de ella y lo meten en la cárcel.  La madre de Luis se enrolla con el psicólogo.  Mercedes Mila abre la final de Gran Hermano con un discurso relativo a la noticia.

Escenario: Juan se cae mientras echaba una carrera y se araña en la rodilla.  Su profesora, María, se lo encuentra llorando al borde del camino.  María lo abraza para confortarlo.
Año 1977: Al poco rato, Juan se siente mejor y sigue jugando.
Año 2007: María es acusada de perversión de menores y se va al paro.  Se enfrenta a tres años de cárcel.  Juan se pasa cinco años de terapia en terapia.  Sus padres demandan al colegio por negligencia y a la profesora por trauma emocional, ganando ambos juicios.  María, en paro y endeudada, se suicida tirándose de un edificio.  Cuando aterriza, lo hace encima de un coche y también rompe una maceta.  El dueño del coche y el dueño de la planta demandan a los herederos de María por destrucción de la propiedad.  Ganan.  Telecinco y Antena 3 producen juntos la película y definitivamente el plató de los informativos ya queda emplazado en medio de la calle.

Escenario: Se pelean un niño blanco y un niño negro por llamarle chocolate.
Año 1977: Se dan de tortas se levantan y cada uno a su casa.  Mañana son amigos.
Año 2007: Tele5 envía a sus mejores corresponsales.  Antena 3 prepara un reportaje de esos de a fondo donde un gran equipo de periodistas pasan un día en un colegio con niños.  Se emiten programas documentales sobre pandilleros y odio racial, las pseudo juventudes hitlerianas fingen revolucionarse al respecto y el Gobierno instaura nuevas leyes y le pone un piso a la familia del negrito.

Escenario: Tienes que hacer un viaje.
Año 1977 : Viajas en un avión de Iberia, te dan de comer y te invitan a lo que quieras de beber, todo servido por azafatas espectaculares en un asiento en el que caben dos como tú.
Año 2007: Entras en el avión abrochándote el cinturón de los pantalones que te han hecho quitar para pasar el control, te sientan una butaca en la que si respiras profundo le metes el codo en el ojo al de al lado y si tienes sed el azafato maricón te ofrece una carta con las bebidas y sus precios subidos un 50% por que si.  Y no protestas por si acaso cuando aterrizas te meten el dedo mas largo del mundo por el culo para ver si llevas drogas.

Escenario: Pedrito, 19 años, gran fama de macarra ganada a base de horas en los futbolines, chupa de cuero con piezas metálicas de mecheros engarzadas y Derbi FDS trucada; se folla a Sara, quinceañera hiperdesarrollada que ya despunta entre sus compañeras de barrio.
Año 1977: Pedrito es el AMO.
Año 2007: Tras un linchamiento público a nivel nacional, con especial ensañamiento por parte de algunos tertulianos televisivos habituales y ministras progres, Mercedes Milá consigue restaurar la pena de muerte en España.  Pedrito tiene el honor de ser el primer condenado a muerte por la nueva ley con carácter retroactivo.

Escenario: Relación habitual entre padre e hijo:
Año 1977: Le pido dinero a mi padre para salir.
Año 2007: Mi padre me pide dinero para apaciguar al banco.

Escenario: Disciplina escolar:
Año 1977: Hacías una putada en clase.  El profesor te metía dos buenas hostias bien merecidas.  Al llegara a casa tu padre te arreaba otras dos.
Año 2007: Haces una putada.  El profesor te pide disculpas.  Tu padre te pide disculpas y te compra una moto.

Escenario: llega el 28 de octubre.
Año 1977: Llega el día del cambio de horario de verano al horario de invierno.  No pasa nada.
Año 2007: Llega el día del cambio de horario de verano al horario de invierno.  La gente sufre trastornos del sueño, depresión y amenorrea.

Escenario: El fin de las vacaciones.
Año 1977: Después de chuparse una caravana del copon con toda la familia metida en un seiscientos tras 15 días de vacaciones en la costa, se terminan las vacaciones.  Al día siguiente se trabaja y no pasa nada.
Año 2007: Después de volver de Cancún, en un viaje todo pagado.  Se terminan las vacaciones y la gente sufre trastornos del sueño, depresión y seborrea.

COMENTARIO: Yo como que veo un patrón aquí: La creciente presencia de los contraya'os informativos de Telecinco y Antena 3 (y eso, que no mencionan a los de TV Española, pero me imagino que ya eso es otro cantar).  Pero total, si los de WAPA-TV, Telemundo (San Juan) y Univisión-PR hacen aquí lo mismo que los de allá...

El torito...

COLOCADO POR: José Miguel Santibáñez
FECHA: 29 Jan 2008

Un campesino tenía el mejor toro de la región, el cuál era su único patrimonio.  Los demás campesinos locales descubrieron que el toro era el mejor semental, y comenzaron a alquilar el animal para cruzarlo con sus vacas, porque con este toro nacían los mejores becerros.

Era sólo colocar una vaca cerca de él, y el toro no perdonaba una...  El único sustento del campesino venía de este toro.

Los campesinos de la región se reunieron y decidieron comprar el toro.

Ponle precio a tu toro...

El campesino, aprovechando la situación, dio un precio absurdo.

Los demás no aceptaron la propuesta y se fueron a quejar al alcalde del pueblo.  Este, sensibilizado con el problema, compró el animal con el dinero del ayuntamiento, lo registro como patrimonio del pueblo y resolvió hacer una fiesta para presentar el toro a la población.

En el día de la fiesta, los campesinos trajeron sus vacas para que el toro hiciera 'lo suyo', después de todo, sería todo gratis.

Le echan la primera vaca, y el toro, la olfateó y nada...

- Debe ser culpa de la vaca, está muy flaca.

Trajeron una vaca holandesa, la más linda de la región.  El toro la olfateó y nada...

El alcalde enojado, llamó al ex-dueño del animal y le preguntó lo que estaba pasando.

No sé...-dijo el campesino-¡el nunca hizo esto antes!  ! Voy a conversar con el toro.

El campesino, aproximándose al animal le pregunta: ¿Qué pasa contigo?  ¿No quieres 'trabajar' más...?

Y el toro, desperezándose, responde:

- ¡No me webees!  ¡Ahora soy funcionario público!

COMENTARIO: Duuuuuh!  ¿Qué habrá querido decir?

Paul Newman

COLOCADO POR: Stipo
FECHA: 5 Jan 2008

Only women of a certain era will fully appreciate this true story.  (If you don't understand this, tell your mother, she'll get it.)

A Michigan woman and her family were vacationing in a small new England town where Paul Newman and his family often visited.

One Sunday morning, the woman got up early to take a long walk.  After a brisk five-mile hike, she decided to treat herself to a double-dip chocolate ice cream cone.

She hopped in the car, drove to the center of the village and went straight to the combination bakery/ice cream parlor.

There was only one other patron in the store.  Paul Newman, sitting at the counter having a doughnut and coffee.

The woman's heart skipped a beat as her eyes made contact with those famous baby-blue eyes.

The actor nodded graciously and the star struck woman smiled demurely.

"Pull yourself together!," she chides herself.  "You're a happily married woman with three children, you're forty-five years old, not a teenager!"

The clerk filled her order and she took the double-dip chocolate ice cream cone in one hand and her change in the other.

Then she went out the door, avoiding even a glance in Paul Newman's direction.

When she reached her car, she realized that she had a handful of change but her other hand was empty.

"Where's my ice cream cone?

"Did I leave it in the store?"

Back into the shop she went, expecting to see the cone still in the clerk's hand or in a holder on the counter or something.

No ice cream cone was in sight.

With that, she happened to look over at Paul Newman.

His face broke into his familiar warm, friendly grin and he said to the woman,

"You put it in your purse."

COMENTARIO: Pero como decía uno de mis ex-jefes de Recursos Naturales, "esas cosas no ocurren en Puerto Rico"... ¿o sí?

Come-on Put-down

COLOCADO POR: Robert M. Farrington
FECHA: 5 Jan 2008 (originally appeared in fourth quarter, 1994)

Heard this years ago in an office I worked in (it actually happened):

A particularly annoying "womanizer" in our office was put in his place nicely with the following exchange:

He: "I sure would like to get in your pants!"

She: "Just great.  Then I'd have two ass-holes in there!"

COMENTARIO: Y aún con eso hay algunos varones que no aprenden...

Bedroom Golf

COLOCADO POR: Tim Russell
FECHA: 8 Jan 2008 (originally appeared in 1990)

NOTA: "UNL" se refiere a la Universidad de Nebraska en Lincoln, capital de ese estado.  — LDB.)

[This was posted on a bulletin board in a dorm at UNL.  I don't know who wrote it, sorry.]

The player will furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls.

Owner of the course must approve equipment before play may begin.

Unlike regular golf, the object of the game is to get the club into the hole while keeping the balls out.

For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft.  The course owner may check the stiffness of the shaft before allowing play to commence.

Course owner reserves the right to restrict the shaft length, so as to avoid damage to the course.

The object of the game is to take as many strokes as possible, until the course owner is satisfied.

Players are cautioned to play the correct hole, as indicated by the course owner.

It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course.  Experienced players will admire the course, paying special attention to the well-formed bunkers.

Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played recently to the owner of the course presently being played.

If the course to be played is temporarily under repair, player is advised to find alternate means of play.

It is considered outstanding form to play the hole several times in one match.

Course owner shall be the judge of who is the best player.

It is considered bad form to reveal your score to other players, or even that you have played the course.

COMENTARIO: ¡Hmmmmm!  Suena interesante.  Yo creo que yo tengo el equipo para jugar golf...  Lo único que necesito es... esteeeeeeeee... ¡un campo en el cual jugar!

Actual Pick-up Attempt

COLOCADO POR: Robert Vollman
FECHA: 12 Jan 2008 (originally appeared in first quarter, 1995)

Here is an actual story from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.  He wanted to go out with this girl so he made up a petition to that effect, got it signed by 50 people, and included a copy of this:


TOP 118 REASONS WHY TAMARA SHOULD GO OUT WITH ROB
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. His shoelaces are hardly ever untied.
2. Doesn't pick his nose in public
3. Has never put a red shirt in with the whites
4. Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust
5. When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building, he doesn't push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor
6. Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married; who's left?
7. Reads National Geographic, and not just for the nude pictures of African gorillas
8. His cat seems to like him
9. Hasn't wet his bed for at least two weeks now
10. Has his own 'Captain Kirk' coffee mug
11. Always keeps his printer paper well-stocked
12. Doesn't turn into a werewolf during full moons
13. He hardly ever slurps when drinking soup
14. Knows the capital of Eritrea
15. Always manages to resist the urge to poke sharp objects into his ear on the first date
16. Is very proficient at whistling the French national anthem
17. Is only mere words away from completing a New York Times crossword puzzle he began in 1981
18. He is not an alien from another dimension bent on World destruction
19. Played no part in the Cuban Missile Crisis
20. Has never been Captain of, nor been aboard, the Exxon Valdez
21. Very rarely has homicidal tendencies
22. Makes excellent use of his spare time
23. DOES NOT OVERUSE THE CAPSLOCK KEY
24. He subscribes to the theory that the world is round
25. He does not make fun of Boutros-Boutros Ghali's name unnecessarily
26. Is mixing up 'dessert' and 'desert' less and less every day
27. He found Waldo
28. Has never passed out on any world leader's front lawn
29. Has never been fired by George Steinbrenner
30. Cried at the end of John Steinbeck's 'Of Mice and Men'
31. Has never found rude shapes in clouds
32. Tries not to giggle when he cuts one
33. Has never blatantly misused a blender
34. Rarely blacks out for more than a few seconds
35. Makes a real effort not to spit when he talks
36. Owns the Led Zeppelin box set and makes copies for his friends
37. Doesn't scrape his vegetables onto his grandmother's plate when no one is looking
38. Wears male undergarments
39. Has never been struck by lightning while simultaneously being hit by a falling meteorite
40. Is an accomplished TV-watcher
41. Has never been involved in the shipment of plutonium to Germany
42. Has never opened fire on an innocent group of unarmed people
43. Did not mastermind Julius Caeser's death; that was Cassius
44. Owns issues 1–34 of Starman comics in near mint condition
45. Has Patrick Roy's autograph
46. Had no trouble committing his phone number to memory
47. Regularly gets the high score on "Super Mario Bros."
48. Rarely stares directly at the sun
49. Has never dumped in his pants while sliding into 2nd base
50. Has never broken into a bear's home and eaten all his porridge
51. Has never given the bird to a lady over age 60
52. So far, has never resorted to cannibalism
53. Has never exploited the tradition of mistletoe to kiss his aunt
54. Never stares at someone's wart for more than 2–3 minutes
55. Has never caused a traffic accident because he was fixing his make-up
56. Has no communicable diseases
57. No tyrannical system of government is named after him
58. Has no plans to ever give the Pope a wedgie
59. Was completely uninvolved in the trade that sent Doug Gilmour away for Gary Leeman
60. Never rings doorbells and then runs away before they answer
61. Hard as it may be to believe, he has never lost a pole vault competition
62. Never forgets his bug spray when going out into the woods
63. Has never pulled the football away from Charlie Brown
64. Very rarely ties cans to a cat's tail
65. Hardly ever referred to as 'infernal'
66. Has never suffered from lockjaw
67. Recognizes Xenon as a noble gas
68. Excellent at compiling purposeless lists
69. Would give up his appendix for the right woman
70. Great with kids; even better with roast beef
71. Holds the record for the highest spot on the cafeteria wall he got his cheese to stick to in grade six.
72. Has never hit a silver-medalist in the knee with a club
73. The part he played in the bombing of Hiroshima is largely exagerated
74. Has never gambled away a girlfriend in Las Vegas, as well as many other places in the world
75. Has managed so far not to decapitate himself
76. Gets fewer and fewer 'ice-cream headaches'
77. Wouldn't smoke nor drink while pregnant
78. Has always managed to avoid being a victim of a 'piledriver'
79. Has never locked himself in a car
80. Has never played a mean trick on Smokey the Bear
81. Does not use cruel mouse traps
82. Has never let Frank Sinatra down
83. Contrary to popular belief, does not comb his hair with a fork
84. Has never attempted to dance naked in a Jerry Lewis Telethon
85. Very rarely has delusions of God
86. Never placed a bet with Pete Rose
87. It's been over a year since he last got his neck tangled in a telephone cord
88. Can sing "Frere Jacques" much better than Jean-Luc Picard
89. Rarely eats paste between meals
90. Is not the ominous voice in Mortal Kombat which says 'FINISH  HIM!' just before a fatality
91. Usually remembers to take the shell off of an egg before eating it
92. Tied Jose Canseco in home runs last week
93. Was nowhere near the grassy knoll November 3rd 1963
94. Often resists the powerful temptation to shave rude swear words in his hair
95. And when he just can't resist, it's usually shaved somewhere where you can't see it
96. Has managed to overcome a long-lasting desire to clean toasters in a bath-tub
97. At Speedy, he's a somebody
98. At a touch of a button, can have a pizza delivered to him personally in under 30 minutes
99. Unlike Vincent Van Gogh, would not chop off his ear for a girl
100. Enjoys better table manners than John Belushi
101. Is (marginally) more popular with feminists than Rush Limbaugh
102. If it came right down to it, he could beat the pants off of Steven Hawking in a fair fight
103. Would never forget to clean the microwave after having placed a small rodent inside
104. The rumours of his involvement in the Chernobyl crisis are mostly unfounded
105. No longer bears a grudge against Santa Claus for failing to deliver an automatic rifle in Christmas of '80
106. It is increasingly rare that he makes obscene phone calls to Bea Arthur
107. Come on, he's not *that* much of an eyesore!
108. Is not fooled when given poisoned candy on Halloween from his mother
109. Refuses to play 'let's hide grandma's teeth'
110. Can be easily entertained for hours with simple, one-piece toys
111. The sources which publicized his involvement in the Iran-Contra scandal were unreliable
112. As of yet, has never overlooked the importance of regular, continuous breathing
113. There is a refreshing absense of monsters under his bed these days
114. Has never smuggled tinker toys onto an international flight
115. Nevers pees in someone else's sink
116. His picking a fight with an inanimate object is quite uncommon
117. Is heterosexual, unmarried and has a pulse
118. Give me 118 reasons why she shouldn't.

CONTRARY TO WHAT ONE MIGHT THINK, NO, THIS IS NOT THE STUPIDEST THING THAT ROB HAS EVER DONE.  BUT IT'S IN THE TOP 118.

COMENTARIO: Bueno, yo no sé si ésta es la cosa más estúpida que Rob haya hecho.  Yo lo que sé es que yo voy a tratar de llevar el caso ante la Asamblea Legislativa y hasta al Gobernador, a ver si alguien hace algo por este pobre infeliz.

Highway Patrol Radar

COLOCADO POR: Ivan Awfulitch
FECHA: 16 Jan 2008

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were conducting speeding enforcement on I-15 near Marine Corps Air Station Miramar.  One of the officers was using a hand held radar device to check speeding vehicles approaching near the crest of a hill.

The officers were suddenly surprised when the radar gun began reading 300 miles per hour.  The officer attempted to reset the radar gun, but it would not reset and turned off.  Just then a deafening roar over the treetops revealed that the radar had in fact locked onto a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near the location.

Back at the CHP Headquarters the Patrol Captain fired off a complaint to the USMC Base Commander.  Back came a reply in true USMC style:

Thank you for the message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident.  You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it.  Furthermore, an air to ground missile aboard the fully armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto your equipment.  Fortunately the Marine Pilot flying the Hornet recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile system alert status and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar was destroyed.  Thank you for your concerns.

COMENTARIO: ¡Qué bonito!  La verdad es que hay quienes tienen unas maneras muy... esteeeeeeeeee... "creativas" para zafarse de una infracción por conducir a velocidad excesiva.

Blind Joke

COLOCADO POR: Rico
FECHA: 17 Jan 2008

AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.  A blind man joins them after a few minutes.  When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.

So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.  After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?  That ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

Nun

COLOCADO POR: Morton Cotlar
FECHA: 17 Jan 2008 (originally appeared in 1990)

A nun was sitting at a window in her convent one day... when she was handed a letter from home.  Upon opening it a $10 bill dropped out.  She was most pleased at receiving the gift from her home folks, but as she read the letter her attention was distracted by the actions of a shabbily dressed stranger who was leaning against a post in front of the convent.

She couldn't get him off her mind and, thinking that he might be in financial difficulties, she took the $10 bill and wrapped it in a piece of paper, on which she had written, "Don't despair, Sister Eulalia," and threw it out of the window to him.  He picked it up, read it, looked at her with a puzzled expression, tipped his hat and went off down the street.

The next day she was in her cell saying her beads when she was told that some man was at her door who insisted on seeing her.  She went down and found the shabbily dressed stranger waiting for her.  Without saying a word he handed her a roll of bills.  When she asked what they were for he replied, "That's the sixty bucks you have coming.  Don't Despair paid 5–1."

COMENTARIO: OK, yo sé que hay quienes pedimos que ocurra un milagro, pero ya esto está pasa'o...

Attempt to get free meal foiled, Very funny

COLOCADO POR: zofia_ali
FECHA: 24 Jan 2008

Some customers at our restaurant (Boston, MA, USA) try to get a free meal by placing some hair in their food and then blaming the chef and refusing to pay for the meal.)

Customer: "Waiter!"

Me: "How can I help you, sir?"

Customer: "There's a hair in my food."

Me: "That isn't possible, unless it was your hair."

Customer: "It isn't!"

Me: "Who else's hair could it be?"

Customer: "Your chef's."

(I walk into the kitchen and return to the table with our chef.)

Me: "Take off your chef's hat."

(Chef takes off his hat, he is revealed to be bald.)

Chef, to the customer: "You were saying something about my hair being in your food?"

COMENTARIO: ¡Tremenda manera de detener ese relajo!  Pero eso no es nada.  Me dicen que en el restaurant donde trabaja el chef Piñeiro (afectuosamente conocido por acá como "Mr. Albahaca"), también tenían el mismo problema hasta que él llegó...

No Cure Yet Found

COLOCADO POR: Hal Hanig
FECHA: 20 Jan 2008

ELECTILE DYSFUNCTION: The inability to become aroused over any of the choices for president put forth by either party in the 2008 election year.

COMENTARIO: Y lo peor de eso es que en Puerto Rico, también estamos observando una alta incidencia de esa condición en este ciclo electoral...  Yo creo que esto no lo arregla ni la infame pastillita azul...

The New Maid

COLOCADO POR: Timantide
FECHA: 27 Jan 2008

A society lady runs into the employment office one day and demands a maid "right now".  It seems she's having a dinner party that night and her maid quit.

The guy in the agency explains that all the girls he has right now have just gotten off the boat from Ireland.  They're untrained.  The lady says she'll train the girl but needs someone right away.

The agency guy asks for volunteers and Molly comes forward.  She agrees to go and be trained.

Well, the dinner party comes and goes and works out just fine.  Molly does a great job.

The next morning, the lady's walking down the upstairs hall and sees Molly in one of the guest rooms.  Looks like she's making the bed but she's just standing there.

Curious, the woman walks in and looks over Molly's shoulder.  There on the bed lies a condom.

The lady turns bright red and tries to laugh it off.  "Why Molly," she says, "Surely you have those in Ireland, don't you?"

Molly: "Shurin we do madam, but we don't skin em."

COMENTARIO: ¡Adió' cará'!  Parece que la nueva empleada doméstica es un poco... esteeeeeeeeee... ¡ingenua!

Shopping Spree

COLOCADO POR: tomkanpa
FECHA: 21 Jan 2008

A woman was in town on a shopping trip.

She began her day finding the most perfect shoes in the first shop and a beautiful dress on sale in the second.

In the third shop everything had just been reduced to a fiver when her cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying her that her husband had been in a terrible accident, was in critical condition, and in the ICU.

The woman told the doctor to inform her husband where she was and that she'd be there as soon as possible.

As she hung up she realized she was leaving what was shaping up to be her best shopping day ever.

She decided to get in a couple more shops before heading to the hospital and ended up shopping the rest of the morning, finishing her trip with a cup of coffee and a beautiful slice of coffee cake, compliments of the last shop.

She was jubilant......then remembered her husband.

Feeling guilty, she dashed to the hospital where she saw the doctor in charge and she asked about her husband's condition.

The doctor, a woman, glared at her and shouted, "You finished your shopping trip .....didn't you!  I hope you're proud of yourself!

"While you spent the past hours enjoying yourself, your husband has been languishing in the Intensive Care Unit!

"But let me tell you........it will be more than likely the last shopping trip you ever take because for the rest of his life he will require round the clock care.

"And you'll be his care giver!"

The woman, bowed down by guilt and shock, broke into loud sobs.

Patting her on the shoulder the lady doctor chuckled and said,

"I'm just pulling your leg....he's dead......what did you buy?"


Created on January 6, 2008.  Last updated on April 10, 2009.  © 2008 Luis Daniel Beltrán-Burgos.  All Rights Reserved.